another t shirt company

a friend of mine opened yet another t-shirt company: chad and tad's nasty-ass tees. i bought this one:i don't know, seemed funny. maybe because said friend has a super jewish last name like mine but insists he's not jewish. especially compared to me, an embarassment to my heritage. like how a few mondays ago i was eating this club sandwich at my desk and had bacon grease dripping down my chin and a neighbor from the jewbicle comes by and says,
"happy - do you know what day it is??!"
"uh, monday?"
"it's yom kippur -"
(me, blank stare, obviously not knowing what yom kippur is)
"the day of Atonement.....whatever" he huffed and darted back to his desk.
today i saw him twice in the hallway and he looked away. it's probably for the best, i'm super hungover. quit hasseling me.

you get what you pay for

ok, so when it comes to museums in DC, i'm like most people - i go to the free ones. i mean, who wants to pay more than a movie ticket when you can wander into 4 different smithsonians and see all of the yard-sale like crap they've amassed since the turn of the century without having to stay long enough to get your dolalr donation's worth? (tho the hirshhorn remains a stand alone fave).

but then there's the phillip's collection a sprawling brownstone which has a gogh wing, huge fireplaces, hardwood floors, and large open rooms that make you feel like a pioneer of the art snob generation. picassos and matisse mingle with degas and cezanne and other names i can't remember all of which are simply there, voila, no grand fanfare. the societe anonyme inc exhibit was great, tho the permanent collection was enough to keep us there for a good 3 hours. the $12 can be a kick in the ribs, but when you are lucky enough to be all alone in the tight rothko room, spinning on the bench in the middle, it's as if you're reaping the rewards of your own splurged couple million.

celebritology

this past weekend i was at a beach house in delaware where "hey, i'm in...delaware" jokes never get old at this beautiful 4 bedroom mansion (it's all about who ya know) with outdoor showers and three tiers of decks was littered in about a year's worth of...People magazine. and so i caught up, people. i saved myself a trip to LA, i'm a friggin expert, and this is what i have to say:
1. Xtina - you were, are, and will always be a slut. that whole blonde throwback to gwen stefani won't change a thing.
2. billy bob. yuck yuck yuck. he shows off being married to angelina as a way to stop people from thinking he's a greasy wannabe pedophile, but it doesn't work. his most recent interview is about how it's so easy to pick up chicks, bring them home and "seal the deal." dude, you're old and gross. to learn how to not be old and gross, see: George Clooney.
3. john mayer? meh.
4. i want to be a celebrity kid. like, just for a day. to have nicole kidman hold me in her arms, or long enough to pay back on tenth of my student loans, whichever comes first.
5. to the people who buy dresses that were worn on the red carpet for cheap! (read: thousands of dollars) - you're pathetic.
6. i'm sorry tomkat, but that is not your baby.
7. ashton and demi: i'm very intrigued. like, super intrigued.
8. what i want to see more of: stars like us! picking their noses, wedgies, etc...
9. nicole ritchie "i don't have an eating disorder, i have stress." does this stress come in a pill or a finger down the throat? your new bangs do look hot, though.
10. i will never sit down and read 17 issues of people magazine again. unless i'm in the check out line for a really, really long time. and besides, i think US weekly is way better.

boys are weird

the other i was on the couch and my friend started tickling me and i was all, "eh, cut it out, i have PMS" and he backs off, gets really serious and looks me in the eyes and says, in his wonderful foreign accent "what is PMS...is that an STD?!"

boys. hee.