i suspect foul play

for college friday a.k.a. thursday i had planned on bringing mr. coffeepot (what i call the guy whose last name is krups) on a little bender in fredrichshain. it seems i already know this city a little better than him and have shown him quite a few hip spots he's never known about. our evening would start in a hipster karaoke bar and vaguely follow this lead.
going to friedrichshain is the equivelent of heading to crystal city, VA for a rager. it's a bit out of the way, you have to switch trains and stuff, so biking is really the only way to go.
but to my utter shock and horror, i find my rented bike, my wonderful city bike with a basket and lights, who has been calmly parked in my courtyard has not one, but two completely flat tires. this is incomprehensible. i have never, in my life gotten a flat, much less two [knock on FSC certified wood desk]. we had even been talking about flats earlier that day, and how i never get them. and i love my bike. it's a BBF brand, but i call it my BFF.
so what i'm most worried about though, is having to explain to east german bike dealer what has happened. i feel that he's going to yell at me, he already has. i nearly jumped out of my skin when he came up behind me as i was checking out my BFF and screamed "dis is dein klinger!!" and rang the little bell on the handlebars.
anyhoo, the night before my tires were fine - i biked to the berlin philarmonie. my colleague's mom gave me a free ticket, it was awesome. i showed up late, just after intermission and kicked some old hag out of my seat in time to hear famous pianist radu lupu play some bartok. i reveled in the sound, giggled at the 380 pound tuba player and swooned at the hottie young second violonist. who! on my way back home totally cut me off, on his own bike! he was pedalling in his tux, with his instrument buckled up in a baby seat. i would have caught up with him but he was too fast. and presuming he has a baby no longer made him interesting to me anyhow. i was on his tail for a while - do you think he laid down some defenses? some microscopic nails that would flatten my tires?? he wouldn't dare...
more recently though, i've come to the conclusion that my neighbors are simply jealous of my awesome BFF. but they will not stop me. oh they will not.